Wednesday, May 20, 2009
So there is the recession.
My apartment is a few steps below a prison cell in the deep south in the 50’s.
I have no job.
Shoulder surgery is coming my way this summer.
I’m single and terribly unengaged.
My glasses won’t stop smudging.
My contacts don’t stay in.
I am having chronic chest pains.
Migraines are a nightly occurrence.
My real friends in Utah are terribly missed.
In a month I have nowhere to live.
My favorite umbrella is about to break.
A democrat is president.
My dogs haven’t died yet.
Neither my cat.
And Santa isn’t real.
NOW…all of that is fine. And I am just taking it all in as parts of this wonderful adventure called life. I have been excited and thrilled and happy and jovial and whatever else bubbly emotions you can get…BUT tonight I make my stand.
iTunes now is charging $1.29 for a song!!!!!!! I was so mad when I saw that, I wrote them an email and told them how I felt. I mean really…for some “better quality” garbage they are raising the prices! And during these economic times?!?! All I am is a guy trying to enjoy some music on the way to an internship that ends in unemployment in a month…and now I have to pay an extra $0.30 for a song on iTunes. HOW DARE THEY! Ugh.
I was fine, I really was fine—until this.
I will eat you.
Sincerely and VERY unhappily,
Mr. Zack My-Dad-Can-Beat-Up-Your-Dad-...-Ya-That-Means-You-Microsoft Oates
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
My dear friend asked me for some super glue and I found this box in my house in NJ. I didn’t think much of it, but when I flipped it around…I hav founded the ver ver bestest engrish I huv sin een lonng taim.
A special prize to the person who can list every error on this packaging.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Okay...so clarification on Naked.
1. I DO NOT work for the juice. (it's backwards, i know...Donatello would have been great with iphoto)
2. We do wear clothing to work. (as depicted by this picture of me...with clothes...at work)
3. I DO work for Naked Communications.
4. I'm really REALLY excited for casual Fridays...
So that is to you 23 people who will read this post...all of whom I am sure already know all of this. But, nonetheless, let it be published. Let it be clarified.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
I was. This morning. it stunk.
Something i promised i never would do. ever. and i did it. today.
I was that guy with the big umbrella in the city.
All of my stuff was still packed away and i was already running late to catch the train to NYC to my first day of my internship to Naked(...to). It was raining and as i was walking out the door i just grabbed the first thing i saw, which happened to be one of those big obnoxious windmill-sized umbrellas.
Before i even got onto the train from NJ, i was already mortified from carrying around this nylon blanket. i started to jog to the train to minimize time exposure of my image seen with this monstrosity of rain protection in public. But it was too late. Although my pride was dry, it had been forever smudged--i was seen. there was a guy across the street that saw me running with what looked like an elephant skin put together with wire. He thought i knew something he didn’t about an early arrival of the train, so he started to run parallel to me and my air balloon. Soon enough though, he understood: i was just embarrassed by my wedding tent. But i felt okay since he was embarrassed at getting into a foot-race with a guy carrying a parachute over his head running to catch a train that wouldn’t arrive for another 15 min. I chuckled when i knew he was looking. Man! Look at this guys girly umbrella! i said to myself, hoping that he could see my facial expression of confidence and condensation (get it? It’s a pun! ...also, i couldn’t figure out how to spell the other word).
Anyways, it is still pre-lunch at work at Naked and things are incredible! they have “whetted” my appetite for this internship and i am super stoked. Real updates to come.
So if you see in the news that some guy from NJ was harassing the streets of NYC with his big windmill nylon blanket monstrous elephant-sized hot air balloon wedding tent parachute of an umbrella...i was that guy.