A Story in Nordy's

this is my first post about fashion AND dating...and it is a pretty awesome story.

So I'm at Nordy's yesterday (it was to help overcome my pending $100 fine for the ticket i just got) buying some pants with my dear friend Ashley (not the one I dated or the one i'm trying to date--this Ashley has a bf) and i find this shirt that i wanted to try on (going to Nordy's for pants is like going to the grocery store to buy a jug of milk...you always walk out with more), and after i tried it on and did a little model walk for her and when i walk back into the dressing room i'm a little taken back by what i think is a mirror.

it wasn't.

it was another guy trying on the same shirt, my same height, my same build, and even...[gasp] my same hair.

We both stared at each other for a brief moment and then made semi-awkward conversation from my dressing room to his. I convinced him to buy the shirt because i was going to buy it too (i ended up not buying it) and then we walked out of the dressing room and started chatting.

TURNS OUT...

We dated the same girl at practically the same time! I had heard stories about this guy from the mutual girl and likewise he about me! She dated him, then me a little, then him then me again for a spot...then neither of us.

We were dying laughing when we found out.

i guess this girl really knew her type...and it was neither of us.

12 Reasons Why I love Business More than Dating...

As i have pondered on my love for consulting and business, i realized that it is a lot like dating...only better. (I tired to make a list of just 10 to be normal and all...but couldn't. too many reasons.)

-business is consistent in its expectations
-business is available even when you can't go to sleep
-business will tell you if it doesn't like you
-business gives you something worthwhile in return for your effort (kisses are only worth so much...only so much)
-business doesn't blow sunshine up your skirt
-business hates bad communicators
-business makes mountains into mountains and mole hills into mole hills
-business only breaks the bank, not the heart
-business doesn't need long-term commitment
-business sends clear signals
-business will give you a chance
-business might have variables--but none of them are 'crazy chick' PMS

Now, you show me a woman who is better than business AND who will put up with me...and i'll show you a diamond putting my business to good use.

...my offer stands. 2 karats. take it or leave it.

(and it is about time that you got an education on diamonds. After all my diamond research etc, this is the best site i've found. LOVE these guys)

Maybe I should just go to Paris...

Caveat: Be Yourself IFF...

("iff" is a mathematical function meaning "if and only if"...not a typo. i'm just smart.) Last week i posted about the importance of being yourself in dating (here is the link for those in my generation who feel technologically entitled to have a link put in their face instead of scrolling down twice to find the post...lazies)--now the caveat:

be yourself...but NOT TOO SOON (unlike family guy jokes about people that recently died. Oh...too soon with MJ?).

I quoted a beautiful poem in my last post about being yourself and yadayadayada.
cute.
mostly true.

I have a proverbial rebuttal to myself though. It says "A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards" (Prov 29:11).

A story. I was on a date with an absolutely beautiful girl. I mean drop dead gorgeous. I mean like so pretty i couldn't believe i was even on a date with her--and by the end of the date...neither could she. All was going well until i busted this line out at the end (OF THE FIRST (and last) DATE):

'I like you a lot Kimmy and i'm going to fight for you. You are beautiful and the type of girl i want to end up with.'

wow...k, really, Zack? like, really? Not only is this life NOT Enchanted (the movie and the adj), but you finished a sentence with a preposition. Wrong on both accounts.

Needless to say, there was not enough fighting to come back from that one.

Now it is true that perhaps she didn't like me anyways and i just put my one-liner as the reason things tanked--but that's besides the point.

The point is--regardless of how "genuine" you think you're being, don't BE too much. Give the girl/guy a chance to get to know you incrementally. Leave pieces to mystery. Leave the past in history. Don't tell about your last kiss story.

So yes, be yourself, please. But please PLEASE, don't be too much of yourself too soon. you are a lot more to handle than you think...trust me.

An Unlikely Love Story...but isn't that the way it always goes?

This post is from my former future ex-girlfriend and her fiancee's website (rileeandtommy.com).

"It was an advertising thing. He’s an art director. She was a copywriter.

She wasn’t interested; he was too serious and kept to himself. He thought she was just another blonde Ad Labber who only cared about fashion and drama. Boring and shallow never work well together, so they never thought about it twice.

She wanted someone who would sail around the world at age 40, drink steamers and eat cookies at coffee shops, listen to her one million and a half soap-box rants and understand enough to give some half good advice.

For him, the right girl would run barefoot through the creeks in Coyote Cultch but still enjoy the cheap thrill of dress-up for the weekend theater. He wanted a girl who had an agenda, wanted something more than what stood at her feet.

No, this Tommy boy and this Rilee girl would never work. She hated him most of the time, and he didn’t care to give her the time of day. So they became friends. Four months later it actually made sense.

Thanks to the Candy Shop, a trail up the Canyon, NIKEiD and the llamas, Ray Lamontagne, dedicating a birthday song to the wrong person (sorry Jimmy), a broken phone, Massaman curry, a film called ONCE, and a porch.

He said I love you after three weeks.

Summer brought all those early morning flights, NYC and Pittsburgh at their finest, Josh Ritter in the Park, Cleveland and its fireflies, August and thoughts of Seattle. The long distance calls continued into the fall with his CPB internship in Boulder, and her Hunger Banquet and BYU. Thank you Jolene and Dennis for a place to call home for the in betweens.

'Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived...Stay open, who knows lightning could strike.'

Some say it should be a lightning strike, for us it was series of storms. Sometimes its good to be different, sometimes it’s better to just be yourself, and somewhere in between you find what you are looking for. (Just don’t be too surprised when it’s right in front of you)."

here's looking at you rilee and tommy!

Don't judge--unless...

i wore this outfit last week.

if you are going to judge me, don't judge me because i'm wearing pink.
...don't judge me because i am wearing horizontal stripes.
...don't judge me because i wore nylon with a thick cotton weave.
...don't even judge me because i popped my collar.

judge me because that puffy vest really is...well, my mother's.

PS i hereby begin the petition to spell becuase with the "u" before the "a" becuse it is much easier to type that way. all in favor say nothing.

looks like with an official vote of a few billion to 1 or 2, i win--just becuase!

No Matter the Moonlight...i Am Only Me.

i was talking to my favorite red headed ex about dating and this is what we concluded: somewhere, out there (beneath the pale moonlight) there's someone thinking of me and loving me tonight...wait, no that's isn't what we decided. Okay, i'm back (took a quick childhood memory detour)--we decided that somewhere, there is some one that is looking for you.

go figure.

Not who you think that some one wants you to be.

But...just you.

I wrote a song one time called "I am Only Me." I wrote it to break up with a girl and is about how i cannot be what this girl wants and how i've tried to be everything, but when it comes down to it, time will ware away the facade of fabricated fantasy (4 point alliteration (-1 point for trying too hard)) and i will be left with me--just me.

How wonderful (frustrating) it is that we get to wait. Wait for that one person who is crazy enough to be waiting for us too. And i guess the thing that i have up on Vladimir and Estragon, is that while i don't know who Miss Godot is, i know why she is.

Meaning i know that she will love me and that i will love her. She won't have to love a future hopeful version of me and i won't have to love a post-plastic surgery version of her (not like i'm saying i'm fully against that).

Just her.
Just me.


I think Max Ehrmann said it best in my second favorite poem "Desiderata" (meaning 'desired things' in latin, not ironically enough),

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

So really, though...don't be afraid to be you; because while that is all you got, it is a lot to have and someone will want exactly that; somewhere out there, out where dreaaaaaaaams, come truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUue (that's written vibrato just in case you were wondering) [soft chimes--fade--and we're out].

(BUT...there is one critical caveat to this post that will come at a future date;-)

this saturday...

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes:

A little discomfort will make the difference!

Saturday April 10th, 2010

University Mall, Orem, UT

Begins at 8:00 AM


Walk a Mile in Her Shoes asks men to literally walk one mile in a pair of women's shoes, while raising fund for The Center for Women and Children in Crisis (www.cwcic.org). It is not easy walking in these shoes, but it is a fun opportunity for men to educate the community about a very serious subject. So challenge your buddies and help get the community to talk about something that's difficult to talk about: sexual violence. Registration is only $5.


Why Walk? One in three women has experienced sexual assault in her lifetime. One in six boys are sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. That means someone you know, someone you care about has been a victim of sexual assault. So walk for your daughter, your son, your wife, your mother, your niece, your nephew, your colleage, yourself!


Of course, women are welcome to walk - the men might need a little support along the way!


More Questions? Contact: Lindsee Anderson, 801/380-9714 or lindsee.anderson@gmail.com

Easter Closet Search Party

If you found this post...you have found the details for the upcoming party. (If you found this...you are hereby classified as NOT stupid and hence, are invited--categorically.)

The party will be THS June 3rd from 9-11pm at 744E 750N #11. (surprise surprise...it's my apt)

Here is the deal: it is a SEARCH PARTY.

This means that you have to dress up as something related to searching. Examples include people on an African Safari (already taken by some one), Waldo/a, FBI, a body bag, even google...anything related to searching.

What will be at the party you ask? Well come and 'find out!'

This message has been posted by the council in charge of the Easter Closet SEARCH PARTY. Content contained herein are not permissible to be used or reproduced except by explicit written, verbal or imagined permission of the above mentioned committee. And i know what you all are wondering (and if not, you will be when i ask this question)...how could we be so smart to have a post dated April 8th about a party happening a month later when it was only planned last week...? Ah, the secrets there are to discover!

Do I Join the Cult?

TOM's shoes have swept the upper echelons of fashion philanthropy. maybe it is the ugly fold in the front, or the awkward triangle on top or the soulless soles...but everyone wants a pair.

i too have been bit by the tombug.

I feel like getting them as a gift wouldn't be that bad (grey--above shown style--size 13), but i feel some sense of moral obligation to not buy them. maybe because i don't want to be a trend follower or maybe because i feel objectified into charity--but either way, the sociological implications of the purchase of a pair of shoes undermines the fundamentally integral part of footwear: shallowness.

So to you TOM- don't be fooled into thinking that a clever PR campaign by a good-meaning social entrepreneur is any way to win my business. (but i'm not saying it can't win my business for someone else....like for my 1/2 birthday...which is coming up...did i mention i like the grey ones?) I am independent! I will stand alone...even if it means bare foot.

Twas the Day After Easter...

Twas the day after Easter, and all through the house,
all the pastels were folded, including the blouse;
The stockings were trashed, for those we don't wear,
I hope that you know all tacky goes there (meaning to the trash...);
The mauves and the pinks the nantucket reds,
Light yellows and soft plums and sweet Khaki keds,
I in my blue scarf laid down for a nap,
and imagined tomorrow--all back to dark crap.
I awoke at midnight from quite a full bladder,
I sprang from my bed and no longer was sadder.
Away from the bad thoughts, like a bad scene on MASH,
i tore open the closet and threw on a sash!
I rushed to the mirror and went to straight to work,
If you hate on pastels, well you're just a jerk!
For laying my outfits all out in a show,
I saw full pastels from head to toe;
Then i exclaimed, "I'll stand up to the fight,
Pastels spring summer fall, and for winter's ALL RIGHT!"

A Couple of Couplets on Kissing

The teacher of time has taught me this:
If intertwined into a kiss
To tell if two will close in bliss,
Both heart and tongue will truly miss.