Don't Wash a Car for a Date

I don't wash my car for dates.

Now...you may think that strange, i mean, shouldn't i want to impress the girl and make it seem like my car is super nice? No. The answer is no.

If there was only one thing i picked up in my law class at BYU (thank you Derek Brown--and no this isn't the ONLY thing i learned. i did deserve that A) and from dating that lawyer chick (...), it would be "stare decisis in non quite movere" (or at least that is how it sounds). That means: precedent.

Yes, precedent.

When i go out with a girl, i want her to get a good impression of me...but not too good (i have a HUGE problem with that...huh). My car isn't super clean, so i don't make it look that way. And more importantly, i get nervous when i have a clean car.

Follow my logic:

if i clean my car that means that i want to impress the girl (because normally i do not--on both accounts). Now if i want to impress the girl, then i will start acting out of character [insert cheap joke here in your mind about my normal character not being able to impress girls...are we done now? k...], and hence their first date impression of me, be it good or bad, is wrong.

I realized that by NOT doing things that would make it seem like i was trying to impress a girl, i instead am much more relaxed.

For example, the other day i went to go pick up a girl for a date and my car wouldn't start. Super embarrassing...or at least it would have been. I ended up taking my buddy's car instead (he actually the guy in the picture above, Chase...but sadly, that wasn't his car that i borrowed), but since i started the date off looking like a total and complete dork, the rest of the date went great. The precedent was that i am a dork. When it turned out i was something of a dim intellectual, everything went perfect. It ended up being a fabulous date.

So don't TRY to impress--just let the other person be impressed. If you do all those things like wear super fancy clothes and wash your car etc, you will freak yourself out and then you will set precedent that you are a perfectly amazing person. Don't get me wrong...i'm sure your pretty cool (unless you are that dip-wad that made those inappropriate comments on this blog so now i have to do comment moderation...you, my friend are an idiot), but you're not perfect.

And guess what...your date knows. You're not fooling anyone with a clean car--well, at least not after the first date.

Dating Flow Chart

Courtesy of www.smirkworthy.com (without permission)--a flow chart of dating. The best example of putting the Marriott school education into practical application i've seen since blue line cafe was installed.

Own It!

The other day i had someone ask me a great question online about online. Let's call him...Eric (because that's his name and this blog holds very few secrets).

He said, "I'm a rather shy guy, how could I approach a girl I don't know and strike up a conversation?"

This was my response: Great question. I used to be a shy guy and not confident in striking up conversations with women. And while there are many "tips" you can find online (like walking up to a girl and saying "fat penguin" and when she looks at you weird, say "oh, just wanted to say something to break the ice [insert smile, look down at ground for one second, then back into her eyes] Hi, my name is Zack, what's yours?" ...that one works great)...BUT that is like a bandaid for your needed surgery.

What you need Eric, isn't tips, it is to own it. Yes, OWN IT. I don't know what you think when you look in the mirror on a scale of 1-10, but yo don't have to be a 10 to flirt with 10s. You ahve to own whatever you are. Don't try to be a 9 if you aren't. If you are a 7or 6--great! OWN IT. Be that 7 and know that you are the best lookn' and coolest 7 in the whole room. That will instill confidence so that no matter what line you use, you will be speaking as an honest 7. confidence is the most paramount part of personality (2 points alliteration) and without knowing what you are, you will never be confident.

So you can look at yourself and ask all day what the mirror mirror on the wall thinks, or you can be honest, own it and the rest will inevitably follow.

Good Things to Come...

After over a month of not writing and little dating...this is the best thing i could find to come back.