Pie Charts Don't Lie...

You have to play the game. You just have to. And i'll tell you why...in another post.

Clearing Up All the Contradicting Advice on Dating

So I have to admit, I'm a little tired of mixed signals from people giving advice on dating.

We hear 'don't settle for less than the best' and we hear 'don't expect perfect'

We hear 'you have to give a little' and we hear 'don't change for someone'

We hear 'don't play girls' and we hear 'go on lots of dates'

We hear 'you have to be attracted to the person' and we hear 'looks aren't important'

We hear 'meet new people' and we hear 'don't hang out' (which BY THE WAY, was NEVER said by Elder Oaks. People who say that are mixing up "Don't you Dare Go Home" and "Dating vs. Hanging out"...so ya, stop mis-quoting people)

We hear 'do what you think is best' and we hear 'take my advice'

Well i'm done. This is the final word:
Find someone who can appreciate you and whom you can genuinely like (love comes with time). Make a list of 10 things you want and give it a chance if the person has 8. Let them see your worst self and if they don't run, then you shouldn't either. Date only 2 people at a time. Find someone who is hot. Keep your hangout:date ration 1:1.

And finally, don't take my advice.

Best Friends ForNEVER

So i had this friend whom i liked since the day i met her. Now when i first met her, she was all up in ups about my buddy so no go brobro--if ya know what i mean. I spent almost a year wondering if i could ever ask her out and the uthinkably terrible happened: we became friends.

Yes...friends.

Like pat you on the back when you give a hug, 'hey how's your dating life,' 'let me set you up with my roommate' type friends.

the worst.

Then something changed--me.

I started to realize that i have always been afraid to ask her out (even though buddy had moved on--aka, he got dumped--but real jokes on her b/c she's still single and he's married...probably because she dumped him on a friday (if you missed this joke, you should read my blog more. if you get this joke, you should read my blog less).) because i might get rejected. (Now, i know that everyone says that you marry your best friend and all, but let's be honest, your best friends know you too well to marry you anyhow.)

So i called her up this summer and said, "HEY, i don't want to be that guy any more. In 3 years we will either be married or we will not be talking...so why are we pretending that we will be friends forever. Let's date."

It was a bold move of unparrelleled courage from me.

And it all worked out great...except that one time when she hasn't talked to me since.

But that isn't the point. The point is that now...now, i have one less friend AND i'm still single. Wait...crap. This post didn't turn out the way i thought it would. But then again, what does (besides reruns of The Office)?

h'm. well...i guess that no matter what tactic you choose, no matter how you play the game, no matter what is happening...it comes down to you, my friends.

What (Happy) Day Do You Dump Someone?

Now i know that i said i wouldn't talk about breaking up or whatever in my last post...but let's face it, i've said a lot of things to a lot of people. ;-)

Due to recent change in my relationship status (and then ANOTHER even more recent change), i have had the topic of breaking up on my mind these past few days. So the question i ask this: what is a good day to dump someone? Let me just start by saying this, ALWAYS ALWAYS (usually) dump someone in the evening. after 5pm but before 10pm. That way their day is over and then they can still come home to roommates who are awake to talk about how much you suck. Now, if you can hold out, here are the days that you should and should NOT dump someone

Monday: NO. start of a week and it is tough to go through the rest of the day.
Tuesday: no. tuesday is devotional...and they usually talk about marriage. so depressing.
Wednesday: no. that is hot-tubbing and mid-week movie night. let them enjoy their night.
Thursday: no. There is not enough time to set up a good weekend.
Friday: NO! Unless you are satan, don't do it on a Friday.
Saturday: ONLY if it is for lunch. This allows them to scramble to find people of their own gender to hang out with and go to a party to find some trick to get over you.
Sunday: YES! This is such a great to dump someone! They just had a great sabbath and can have a full 4 days to set up dates that next weekend.

So Sunday it is! It is a day of rest, so why not put to rest all of those things holding you down. So choose your Happy Day wisely when chalking up another ex.

Now...if you are dating an idiot, you can dump them Tuesday at 1am for all i care.

just for the record: shoe shopping (a guest post)

My new friend Becky has this amazing post about shoes and dating...i couldn't resist. It goes too well with...everything.


just for the record: shoe shopping {revised}

"BREAK UP"...really? THAT's how you found me?

i was looking at some stats yesterday and do you know what the number 4 searched term on the internet to find my blog is...?

"BREAK UP"

Now i've been told that my blog sounds depressing and like i'm a 'disgruntled dater who cannot adequately control his emotions hence venting on an arrogantly poised online forum' (more or less...). But that is sad that "break up" is the number 4 term to find my blog.

this post is to set that record straight.

While my dating "record" is statistically unconvincing to convert a non-dater's ways--i have been having a great time. In the last 8 years of active dating (minus 2 years in Ukraine, minus 1 month for growing a mustache, minus 13 total weeks of a girlfriend(and counting...hi you.), minus 2 hours of getting over 12 of those weeks, minus that one crazy summer...oh boy.), i have learned more about myself and human interaction than any other method. I am so glad and so happy to have been dating and will be thrilled when it is my time to hang up the dating blazer and momentarily dawn my boyfriend cardigan before my husband tux and then my daddy tee-shirt.

Whatever the attire, know that dating is exhilarating. In seeking to find everything without yourself, you seem to understand so much more within yourself. It is a series of exciting experiences, amazing adventures and another alliteration (i wish i could say that i try too hard with these alliteration things...but seriously, they just come to me).

But...on the other hand...now that i'm thinking about it....i guess most of the time, dating really does kinda suck. Getting to know a temporary fake friend does seem quite dismal. Never knowing with whom your friday night will be spent, always feeling guilty if you don't any anyone to spend your friday night with...and then there is saturday. geeze. ya, i'm kinda over dating, actually.

h'm. How m'bout that...i guess that means that maybe i'm ready for a wardrobe change and "break up" with my single life.

oh, and what are the other top 3 phrases that find my blog? Well, let's just say that the easter bunny has some competition. [boom--PASTEL slap to the face]!

News Article from BBC: Good dancing may be sign of male health, scientists say

My life makes so much more sense now...

to read the actual article and see the amazing video, go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11223473)

Scientists say they've carried out the first rigorous analysis of dance moves that make men attractive to women.

The researchers say that movements associated with good dancing may be indicative of good health and reproductive potential.
Continue reading the main story
Related stories

* Birds show off their dance moves
* Why good dancers are attractive
* Waggle dance leads bees to nectar

Their findings are published in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters.

"When you go out to clubs people have an intuitive understanding of what makes a good and bad dancer," said co-author Dr Nick Neave, an evolutionary psychologist at Northumbria University, UK.

"What we've done for the very first time is put those things together with a biometric analysis so we can actually calculate very precisely the kinds of movements people focus on and associate them with women's ratings of male dancers."

Dr Neave asked young men who were not professional dancers, to dance in a laboratory to a very basic drum rhythm and their movements with 12 cameras.

These movements were then converted into a computer-generated cartoon - an avatar - which women rated on a scale of one to seven. He was surprised by the results.

"We thought that people's arms and legs would be really important. The kind of expressive gestures the hands [make], for example. But in fact this was not the case," he said.
Continue reading the main story
“Start Quote

We found that (women paid more attention to) the core body region: the torso, the neck, the head”

End Quote Dr Nick Neave Northumbria University

* Your best dance moves

"We found that (women paid more attention to) the core body region: the torso, the neck, the head. It was not just the speed of the movements, it was also the variability of the movement. So someone who is twisting, bending, moving, nodding."

Movements that went down terribly were twitchy and repetitive - so called "Dad dancing".

Dr Neave's aim was to establish whether young men exhibited the same courtship movement rituals in night clubs as animals do in the wild. In the case of animals, these movements give information about their health, age, their reproductive potential and their hormone status.

"People go to night clubs to show off and attract the opposite sex so I think it's a valid way of doing this," Dr Neave explained.

"In animals, the male has to be in good physical quality to carry out these movements. We think the same is happening in humans and certainly the guys that can put these movements together are going to be young and fit and healthy."

Dr Neave also took blood samples from the volunteers. Early indications from biochemical tests suggest that the men who were better dancers were also more healthy.

How To Know WHEN TO STOP

Three Strikes. it is that simple.

Hunny is fly. I mean she is hot stuff. She is cool and smart and vibrant and nice and easy (to talk to...or whatever) and you are just digging her. Yet there comes a point, where no matter how amazing she is, you have to let her go.

When is that?

At what point does the excitement of impending love impede on your own self respect? (+2 points for some kind of an alliteratinary combo...and for good made up word use)

there is a simple 3 strike formula.

1 point: txt msg, fbook wall post, email/fbook message, call without message
2 points: call with message, random drop by
3 points: random drop by + nice note/baked goods

Now here is how it works:

If you do any of those actions to her, she gets the points counted. If she does any of those things to YOU, then those points are subtracted. When she gets to 3 points...give up fella'. (keep in mind, if she is WAY WAY WAY cool...like the kind of cool where you write in your journal that she is "soooooooooo amazing" then you can add an extra point or two)

And it really is that simple--dating is just a numbers game. Keep your dignity while finding the right one is all about two people not getting to three strikes.