Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Single

10. I laugh at this picture EVERY time i see it. (bahahah...just imagine a raspy young girl's voice yelling out, "OOOOH NO! HERE 'DAY COMN'!!"...it is too funny)
9. I like it when my hair looks like Jimmey Neurtron's
8. I owned camouflage slippers and claim i use for hunting, but really, i bought them when i went shooting that one time a year ago
7. I don't want a full-time job
6. I live in Provo
5. The only six pack i have is the one i tell people about (that i never had) in high school
4. I use a Little Mermaid pillow case
3. I don't think it is a bad idea for friends to kiss every now and again
2. I don't want to share my google calendar with anyone

But the NUMBER 1 reason i'm single is.....I can't do this:

Thank You... (this post is probably written to you)

On this blog, I tend to either speak out on controversial topics or make light of funny dating situations. But one thing that I rarely do is open up. I mean not just on this blog, but period. Well, if you will permit, there are a few things I feel the need to get off my chest for whatever reason. (Maybe it is this Enya song that I've had on repeat for the last hour or maybe I just have something important to say. You decide. But be warned: if you don't appreciate my religious views or if you are looking for another bad second date story...search through older posts.)

I read a quote by the late Apostle of the Lord, Neal A. Maxwell about meekenss. He said "without meekness, the conversational points we insist on making often take the form of 'I' --that spearlike, vertical pronoun" (read the whole talk here).

Now as awesome as I all-too-often think I am, meekness is one virtue I have never claimed to have (exhibit A: a blog about "MY" closet).

But as I have made meekness a current quest in my life, I feel that my eyes have been opened. I have tried to step back and listen to my outer dialogue; and I have realized I have an uncanny ability to turn any conversation around to myself. As I have been working on correcting that, I have seen something remarkable, something inspiring and something I have never fully appreciated: those around me.

My friends.

My family.

...my heroes.

So this post is dedicated to you. Yes, more likely than not, you, the person reading this. As I have observed the unyielding support and  unfailing love of those friends of mine, who are such a large part of who I am today, I cannot help but be stuck with amazement. Although my faults be plenty, you stand by me. With my foundation as the gospel of Jesus Christ and my supporting structure of people that care for me--I can never fall.

I'll take up my gratitude to God in my own way--but to you, my pillars of power who keep me strong when the days seem long, I thank you for showing me that my strength is a mere collection of affection from those who believe that this meek-seeking soul can become what he dreams.

It means more to me than you can know.

Thank you.

Top 10 Pet Peeves

If you go on a lot of dates you might have observed a model of mundane mendacity when reciprocally responding to questions that aren’t quite small chit-chat, but also aren’t delving into the deeper pontifications of life—let’s call them, middle talk. 

Questions like, “if you could have one super power…?” or “if you could live anywhere…” or “will you marry me…” (ok, maybe not the last one (although some of my dates would beg to differ)). 

One VERY important one that I have realized in all of my (un)successful relationship is “what are some of your pet peeves?” 

Well, so save myself time as well as be honest and not make girls think I don’t have a lot of weird annoyances because it is hard to remember them all when you are on a date, I will respond to this once and then just request girls go to my blog to learn about me…in fact, that is a good rule of thumb in general. (kidding…I need attention in person too ;-) ) 

Top 10 Pet Peeves:

1. Open cupboards in the kitchen (seriously…just close them, people)
2. Events that request “formal” attire when they actually mean “SEMI-formal”
3. Not spelling my name right ON MY FACEBOOK WALL (I mean come on, just look up the page a few inches!)
4. Clipping finger/toe nails in areas where I walk
5. People getting mad at me for something they HEARD I have done without even finding out if I really did it (chances are, I DID do it—but just give me the benefit of the doubt until I give you reason to doubt the benefit.)
6. Parades (all kinds, any size, any location, for any duration of time, supporting any cause, with anyone, watching anything, in any weather…[period])
7. Not going into the intersection to make a left turn (it is legal to sit in the intersection if you don’t block the box!)
8. Girls opening my door from the inside of the car after I have opened their door (I have been in a heated debate with my friend Becky about this—but I’m sorry, it is NOT a normal or polite thing to do.)
9. People that blame others for their own stupidity
10. Canada.