You pick her up and she is stunning--even better than you remember her a few days ago at that bonfire (It is a good thing too because we all have been there where we get someone's number with poor lighting...). The conversation flows and you almost can hear the string quartet playing as you watch her walk down the isle.
You go home and feel like there is nothing that can stop you now! 'How could a date have gone that well with such an amazing person?'
The standard 24 hours are endured before sending a text. 'Maybe a movie this weekend? Or lunch tomorrow? Oh, I can't wait. Frozen yogurt RIGHT NOW!' Draft the text. "Hey you! What are you doing? Let's go grab frozen yogurt!" You press send. Time sent, 9:02pm.
9:03.
9:04.
9:15.
midnight.
'She's probably asleep.'
Next day.
10:00am.
'She's probably been at work.'
5:05pm
7:00pm
11:00pm.
'She probably didn't get my text.'
"HEY! How was ur day?" Time sent, 11:03.
Next day you get a response, "Oh hey, just saw your text. My phone was broken." Received next day 8:30pm.
You wait 5 min and pool together a clever response, "At least something more important wasn't broken! ;-)" Time sent, 8:35pm.
You should have kept the emot icon to yourself (and yes...those stupid faces are called "emot icons").
"What" (Received 9:00pm)
Not even the concern to add a "?" to the text.
You try to rebound. "Nvmnd. But when can we get together?" Time sent, 9:02pm.
The cycle of reality:
Rinse. Repeat. Rejected.
*************
WHY WHY WHY??? Why don't good first dates turn into second dates (that, according The Balancing Act post, are difficult in and of themselves)?
Maybe she started dating someone, maybe she heard something from a roommate, maybe she read your blog.
This post is not for the purpose of presenting answers, but to let you know that it happens. It happens to everyone...and it is okay. Keep to the three point rule and know when to stop communicating with them.
But what you really need to know is this: if someone doesn't fall in love with you as you do with them--it isn't that you are wrong, it is that you are wrong for them. And in the end, they are wrong for you. (heck, i guess in the beginning, in this case) There will be someone just as excited to see a text from you pop up on their phone as you are. And then, even if you do dumb things (like add a nose on your winkey face in texting), you can follow the cycle of love:
Rinse.
Repeat.
Rejoice.
It doesn't matter if that first date was the most fantastic date of my life. If those are the texts you send me (instead of CALLING like a gentleman), all future plans are off.
ReplyDeleteI can go into the excruciating details of why, if you'd like.
As a second date reject FROM zack oats, i would have to agree with Margaret (insert winking emot icon here, with or without nose) more creative texts puh-lease!
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ReplyDeleteI disagree. The text after the date was not a bad thing, but when you wanted to do something with her you should have called. It is fine to chit chat (or make plans if you are in a situation where calling is out of the question) over text, but if you want to make plans with a specific person it is always better to call.
ReplyDeleteTexting? Really? How old are you Zack...? More importantly how old are the girls you are taking out on dates?
ReplyDeleteSo I know you wrote this months ago, but I somehow ran across this blog on the Internet and have been clicking through a bit, and now here I am.
ReplyDeleteI think it's funny how everyone is upset that you texted the girl. I found that neither here nor there, really. I think I probably would have been fine with it, myself, but there we go. What I found remarkable, in a punched-in-the-stomach good way, was this:
"if someone doesn't fall in love with you as you do with them--it isn't that you are wrong, it is that you are wrong for them. And in the end, they are wrong for you."
I finally, finally, figured that out after way too long. Like, years too long. I guess I'm still in the final vestiges of internalising it. So whatever other issues you might have with the ladies, you can rest assured that you're wiser than... well, me.
Best of luck to you. Really. It's hard out there.