Thursday, November 10, 2011

How to Decide Between Dating Two People

I had to stretch to make this pic fit with the post...but too funny!
So we've all been in the situation where we meet two people pretty close together and we start to like both. So what to do?

To start we need to lay the groundwork assumption which I hold to be true, that you can only give your heart to one person at a time, and that is a decision you make. You can hook up with multiple people at the same time (which I will ALWAYS under ANY situation say is a huge NONO), but your heart will remain with one person. 

But if you are in the process of deciding, what should you do? 

Sometimes it can be a deadlock. 

One is smarter, the other is funnier. One is a little prettier, the other is a little better at social situations. One is more passionate, the other has more direction. One is secure, the other is adventurous. One is really nice, the other is a little sassy. 

Keep it simple. Don't just look at how you feel about that person, but look at how you feel about YOURSELF. 

Don't worry about choosing the hotter one or the better kisser or the one with the better resume or cooler friends....because in the end, when all of that melts away, it exposes the core of any relationship: how you feel about yourself when you are around and not around that person. 

And as my dear confidant who, earlier this year was choosing between two girls who wanted to mary him and who's advice I rarely heed, advises, "DO NOT wait too long to decide because it will damage the relationship with whomever you choose and you will die lonely." (I took some liberties with the end of his quote...)

Who inspires you? Makes you feel like a better person? Who doesn't make you feel like just some puppet or accessory? That is the seed of a great relationship. And if you put yourself into it and it is right, love will come.

For love is a magic potion that is concocted in the kitchen of decision with a little bit of help from the laboratory of luck. 

(oh, and as my for dear confidant, he waited too long to decide and hence, is not dating either of those girls--but he IS almost engaged to a third. ...maybe I should take his advice.)


  1. This is exactly how my husband and I came to be. For me/us it came down to who was better friends, without the relationship. In other words, Would we still be friends if we didn't like each other? And while you generally don't make out with friends (for reasons previously discussed) we saw that we had genuine friendship, the chemistry made it better. So in our case we DO get to make out with our best friend.
    For anyone who thinks that they should wait for someone (one of the two for example) to make the move, don't fool yourself, that is only slightly less offensive than "settling", but be open, don't make either think they are your one and only.

  2. Great advice Weefay!! completely agree. Good to see that sometimes, these things end up in marriage...

  3. I've never thought of it that way. Seems like a pretty good idea - at least to try. :)