|This picture will come up later...promise.|
So I think I have been hanging out with Zack too long. I seem to have developed a knack for equally ridiculous/disappointing relationships. (Editor's note: I would just like to say that not EVERYthing in my dating life is "ridiculous/disappointing"...I have references if you don't believe me.)
I was recently in the throes of “love” with a great girl. I managed to become friends with her and she was awesome. Conman’s crush is conceived (+3). So I took her out on a quasi-date. It was simple and fun and I could tell real feelings were developing for me. But there’s a catch, she has serious career aspirations that are taking her back home in December, and likely out of the country by the end of March or so.
She says there’s a CHANCE she could stay, but it would literally take an act of God to change her plans.
Flash forward again, it has been a few weeks and after a few dates, we come to the conclusion: We like each other. The problem? She still plans to leave in like…four weeks.
We talk about it and here’s my pitch: Look babe, don’t think too far ahead. I just want to date you RIGHT NOW and see what happens. When four weeks come and go we can talk about the future. I mean, really--all this (motions to self) could be yours for the low price of just 4 easy payme…wait, sorry. Right, so really I told her just to think about it and we would talk in a few days. It felt a lot like trying to sell something.
Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about sales it’s this: NEVER EVER let them think about it!! Get a commitment before they leave the table!!! (jk…sort of)
Her major concern was that, “If we date now, it would be great, but I am leaving. So it will only end up hurting more later when it’s over.”
It didn’t take long to realize there would be no convincing her. Her mind was set in stone, one probably shaped like the tombstone for our relationship. We agreed to just be friends, and I have nothing but positive things to say about her…almost.
So what’s the point? She was unwilling to gamble on the future. It is true it could end up hurting a lot later, but it could also have been fantastic. It could have ended a week later, or it might have gone the distance. What the future held for us, no one knows. I have made a goal to live life without regrets or “what ifs?” and so I tried my best.
The reality is we liked each other. We were good to together. We had good intentions. We had a lot going for us. And referencing back to a prior post, best friends don’t last forever. Relationships only go one way or the other, and with so much in our favor this was our shot.
She will be back in about two years, and I could wait, but for what? A CHANCE at what we MIGHT be?
Don’t bet on it.
After a healthy conversation with my good friend Jack Poates this is the conclusion I’ve come to: Love doesn’t play hide and seek. In love, hearts will be broken, yours’ and the people you date. That’s just the way it is. The whole key is to find someone who does just the opposite. That’s the key though YOU have to FIND them, and THEY have to FIND you. So gamble a little, go out on a limb, take a leap of faith and see if they’re the one to catch you.
You can run and hide from love…but you shouldn’t!
Besides how many people do you know who have fallen in love, and how many have been killed by an alligator? Take the safe bet (I know full well this last bit makes no sense but I had to tie SOMETHING to the picture).