Dear All Girls that Play Too Hard to Get,
Hi. I've been meaning to write this for a while, but wasn't quite sure what to say. I mean, how often do you write a letter to most women on behalf of most guys?
So let me start by saying, wow! Really, you are awesome and beautiful and fun and smart! You really are! You are quite the catch.
Let me continue by saying, ya know what...? We are too.
Let me ramble a bit by saying, we know you want some caveman Krull the Warrior King to go out of his cave hunt you down and bring you back victorious, but what you may be forgetting is that we too are looking (but with worse ADD). We too have other things going on and if you play too hard to get, we will loose interest because some other shiny object will come along. (Let's face it, how long do you see a dog chase one car for?)
Or worse than losing interest...we will catch you.
And then, in the clutches of our semi-appropriate spooning position with some romantic comedy playing in the background it will hit us--in all of the chasing, you gave us far too long too romanticize about who you are. Since we never got a chance to open up and have you do the same, we are in love with our perfectly perceived projection (+3) of you...not really you. And while you might be bethrown with your Bennybooboopedoo, we, on the other hand, realize that you ARE our cucumber sandwich and we just want poker night.
It is at this moment we start to realize how badly you treated us while we were pursuing. And in the end, somewhere between the credits and the home DVD screen, the decision is made that while we will continue to play your game, this victory will not be carried back to the cave.
So take this advice: if you like us, play nice; if you don't, no dice. Play coy, play intrigue play genuine...but don't play TOO hard.
For yeah, you are a catch; but there are a lot of fish in the sea. And sometimes, when we play your game, it turns into our game of catch and release.
The Guys You Wish You Would Have Been With 10 Years from Now
p.s. Guys, I'm sure girls would say the same about us...I've just never gotten that far to know.
p.p.s. I know "bethrown" is not a word. But it seemed right at the time. Get over it.
p.p.p.s. YES, you do multiply the p's and NOT the s's when doing ps's. It is not a 'post script script!'