The Worst Part About Dating: SECOND DATES

After a second date, what do you do if you are not interested?

1. you don't want to go on a date so you let them know.

2. you don't want to go on a date so you don't let them know. 

Either way...you are a jerk. You either don't call them (or if you are a girl, ignore their calls), in which case you are insensitive and an idiot. Or you let them know in which case you either didn't give them a chance or you are making a big deal out of something that really isn't. 

That is why second dates are so tough! It is a turning point where there is a one in four chance that each will want a third date--50/50 for guy and 50/50 for girl.

Guys, I would say just don't call them and girls, ignore the call. Some call this head games, most, just call it dating. 

Let me tell you why.

If you call them up and are really nice and tell them you aren't interested but they have so many wonderful qualities, then you are showing what an amazing person you are and that, in the end, they were spot on to like you. If you ignore them and kind of a dipwad, then it gives them a reason to get over you. 

Of corse, there is the risk to run of misunderstanding their motivations. Once I called a girl to pull the whole, 'I'm not interested but thanks' and you already guessed it...she wasn't even slightly interested. Made me feel like an real champ.

So remember, enjoy your first dates, because if that goes well, then it simply leads to the dreadful second...which can blossom into a wonderful third and beyond (or so i've been told...still waiting to get past the second date).

Superflous "Outrage" to the Facial Hair Post

Ec Brown wrote an interesting comment that I felt the need to respond to openly. It was insightful and I hope to better explain why I disagree. Hopefully she likewise will respond.

"If a girl wants to wax her lip, let her wax her lip, if she wants to bleach her facial (or other) hair, let her do it, if she doesn't care, you shouldn't either. It's constant pressure and a pile of small but often outrageous expectations from men that turn women into beauty- and image-obsessed consumers. 

"I'm starting my own list of minor but absurd expectations. Next time I see you, I want to see this." (see picture above)

Well Ms. Brown, let me first say that the second a culture doesn't set standards for beauty, we all become fat ugly Americans. Without law there is anarchy. So too, without beauty standards there are butt-faced people. 

Now, I don't find it at all "outrageous" for me to kiss a woman and desire to NOT think that it feels like I'm kissing a man. There are a lot of closeted homosexuals who, I'm sure, would love a burley faced woman, but personally, I don't subscribe to their newsletter.

Finally, people hate feminists in the US. 1964 called and they want their cause back. (Oh and Zack, middle school called and they want their joke back---(ugh, whatever))

ps, I'm stretching. 

Superflous Facial Hair--For Ladies AND Fellas

OK, so pull up a chair, come get a cookie and let's chat. I want to discuss a sensitive subject which is very sensitive and a bit tricky because those who need to read this may not think I'm talking to them and those who don't will just agree. This is a topic that no one quite knows how to bring up; but needs to be. We need to chit-chat about facial hair.  

Not scruffy "i shave only on sunday's" type facial hair...but problem facial hair. SUPERFLUOUS FACIAL HAIR. 

LADIES: 

I don't know how to talk about upper lip hair very well, so i'll say this: if you need to dye your upper lip hair blond, it probably just should go. Wax, shave, whatever...just...you know...do your thing (unless you don't do this thing, then you can make it your thing).

I kissed a girl once and the honest thought that came into my mind was "well, now I know what it's like to kiss a boy. And yeah...girls are for sure my thing." 

FELLAS:

Two points to consider. 

First, just buy a pair of tweezers. You may take them home bring them into the bathroom and not really know what to do with them. But like every other guy that has found a few eyebrow hairs wondering astray, you will figure out how to use them. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your soul patch that drifted a little too far up your face. 

Second, right below your eyes, where you think you don't need to shave...you do. Here is the test: shave it, and feel the difference. If it feels odd, then that means that every time the sun hit your face people standing next to you wondered, "why doesn't he just shave that odd peach fuzz." 

CONCLUSION:

With this all being said, remember, God made you the way you are and you are wonderful. BUT don't forget--God also inspired others to invent things to make us look better. And while you don't have to change yourself to find love, by removing some superfluous facial hair, you certainly can make things a lot "smoother," shall we say?

p.s. any shots at my arms' man patches will be met with contempt of blog. 

Life Lesson from Last Month's Marathon

My last 20 yards with James recording.

If you will permit me to get a little mommy-blogger-look-at-what-i-did-last-month-minus-the-picture-of-my-kids, I wanted to share a bit about the marathon I ran. 

One of my life goals was to run a marathon...and last month I did it. 

For those of you who don't know, a marathon is 26.2 miles (to put it in perspective--that is 25.2 more miles than a mile).

Well I was cooking along, on pace for a sub-4-hour time (not great, but respectable) and was more than half way done when my knee buckled out. I caught myself on the pavement then hobbled over to the side of the road--not sure what to do. I felt devastated. Defeated. Dumb. After 6 months of training, buying a gym membership and years of dreaming about that marathon finish line...here i was, 15 miles into it watching my pacer (a VERY attractive girl...) and my goal of completion drift into the distance. Maybe it was the estrogen in the Luna bars (the only energy bar without dairy that I could find), but at this point, I got a little emotional. 

What's a guy supposed to do? 

I guess the same thing every single guy 25+ does in Provo...hopelessly chase. 

I knew that my roommate James would be waiting for me at mile 20 to run me to the finish line, but could I even make it there?!

Well needless to say, I made it to mile 20 and then, 4 hours and 18 minutes later, crossed the finish line! (but not before a 90 year old woman blew by me with a mile to go) 

Just goes to show what a lot of time, a few luna bars and a good friend can do to help encourage you through the hopeless to the finish line. 

Thanks life, the for the lesson.

How to Get a Guy's Attention

How most MEN feel about girls who abide by these 2 rules.

After going to Moab with about 400 single people a few weeks ago and then seeing the Jersey-shore-of-the-Rockies on the 3rd of July in Provo, I've come to realize a very simple fact...

Girls, there are two rules you must abide by to get a guy's attention:

1. Shorter skirts.
2. Lower shirts.

Promise, no matter your body type, face or (that other thing that girls have...shoot, what is it called? You know that thing that makes them unique. I even dated a couple of girls with this...oh yeah!) personality you will get all the attention you deserve. 

Now if you want to upgrade from a "guy" to a MAN, well put down that push up because contrary to what crazy black ladies driving to that p'erk might tell you...that does NOT help you get a real man.