A Challenge for You this Christmas Season

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important message about the season.

Like many of you, I am Christian; I am Mormon. Christmas is a special time when the lights, the presents, the cards, the bells, the colors all point to the singular star that should ceaselessly sit atop of all our life's priority tree: Christ. 

And so, as the hours of Christmas ticks from tomorrow to today to a memory and we will be given another 364 days of anticipation, I hope that we will think of what gift giving means to us. Not the bows of toys or golf green potty putters (don't tell my dad)...but the gift of our hearts. 

To whom will we give our heart this year? 

Above all else, might I suggest giving a little more this year to Christ? For that is the gift He asks that will unlock His eternal gift.

If you will take some time this week--maybe while taking out the trash, or maybe getting the mail after the sun goes down or taking out your parents' yappy dogs for an evening stroll--I would challenge you to look up at the stars, if just for a moment. (I find so much of the cares and worries of the world are melted away by the crisp sight of starlight.) There, under the stars, give at least a passing thought to your life, your heart and your goals. I promise it will be the best gift to yourself this week. 

Maybe you will be looking at the same star announcing Christ's birth. But if not, know that by gazing into the stars and pondering that which rests beyond them, you are in good company. For wise men still seek Him.

Merry Christmas! Happy holidays too...but most of all, merry Christmas.

Cool or Clingy – The Copious Balance

My friend asked me for some advice, and so I told him to turn it to you guys. What do you think?

Where is the line between “I like you” and “I-like-everything-about-you-even-how-you-brush-your-teeth-and-can-I-watch-you-floss-this-time”…?

I started dating this girl and imagine my surprise when it actually worked out! She actually liked me back and what-not and our relationship had a legitimate future. I’ve always seen myself as a great at going on dates, but I quickly realized I have no idea how to “date someone.” 

I didn’t ever realize how unrelated the two are. In one you just have to keep her entertained long enough to decide whether or not you want to ask her out again. The other involves making sure she stays interested on a semi-permanent level.

This begs my question: How much attention is just right? (Where’s Goldi-Locks when you need her!) [Editor’s Note: Okay, so I didn’t get this when I first read it, but trust me, it is funny, read it again.]

I am someone who falls hard, probably to a fault and I know it. I generally get ahead of myself and make things weird for the girl I am dating, or trying to rather. But clearly this time I played my cards right. She likes me. Now my problem is I have no idea what to do next.

Everyone knows that one too many winky face emoticons can be the fatal blow to any budding romance. So not that you, the general public, are my final hope in terms of love advice, but I am looking for answers from every outlet. 

In your experiences what has been the right amount of attention? Obviously every situation is different so here’s the prompt for help:

• Guys: how could you tell/decide how much attention to give her?
• Girls: what kinds of signals do you send to tell us how much attention to give?

Save me from a fate similar to our cartoon friend’s…

5 Question Quiz to Know if You are Over Them Yet

We've all been there. 

You almost wish it would have ended badly, just so you can have a good reason to get over them! 

Maybe she was texting an ex boyfriend all the time, maybe he hooked up with some girl at a random party, maybe she accidentally sent a text to you that was supposed to go to her roommate saying she was sick of your jokes, maybe he accidentally sent you an email that was supposed to go to his old crush saying that he thought you were fat and misses her. I mean SOMETHING. At least with those situations, it is easy to get over someone. (at least I think I'm funny, Jen...hope you fixed those contacts in your phone, btw.)

But what about when something just...ends?

You have nothing you can say bad about the other person and in fact, you still respect them a lot and really care about them. I mean, how can you blame someone for not liking you? It just...happens. (to some more than others...but let's not bust out the Cherry Garcia quite yet.) And, how can you blame yourself for not being able to get over them quickly? It just...takes time. 

But how much?

I depends. But I can promise, after 32 crushes that have ended cordially, I know that as many times as hearts break, they mend. 

So how do you know if you are over someone? Ask yourself these 5 questions:

1. What do you feel when you stalk them on Facebook? (because heaven (and hell) (and Mark Zucksters) know that you STILL stalk them.) Once you can see them in pictures with someone else and can be genuinely happy for them, you might just be over them.
2. What do you do when you see them at a party (that you go to just because you saw they responded "Attending" on Facebook)? If you can go and not try to not try to not impress them, you might just be over them.
3. What do you think about when you drive by their house? (3x a week still..?? That is a bit much.) If you think of the girl that is in the car, you might just be over them.
4. What do you think about when you are kissing someone else? (First of all, go kiss someone else. But know this: random rebound romance (+3) is like NyQuil--it only helps the symptoms...but at least you'll sleep better (or maybe not--depending...)) If you are only thinking of the lips that are on yours, you might just be over them.
5. What do you feel when you hear 'your song'? (Good tip for this one, make it your song with someone else. Works like a charm.) If you are only thinking of how hot T-Swift is during that Love Story music video (because i KNOW that is your song), you might just be over them. 

Hopefully this quiz can help you as it has me. The other day I was doing a little Facebook stalking of an ex and saw her profile pic with another guy. And ya know what...the love that I felt to her, all-of-a-sudden transformed into gratitude for our time together, an understanding that she is happy and a comfort to know that I am too. It was like hearing "President Mitt Romney"...music to my heart.

I know it is tough to get over someone, but part of getting over them is having a benchmark to really know that you have arrived and know how much time you needed.

Now, if you are not over them yet, you only need one thing: a little more time...with my two friends, Ben & Jerry.

A Letter to All Boys that Think Girls Play Too Hard to Get

Okay, so I got one of the best comments ever on my letter to girls that play too hard to get post and I want to share this as a guest post, something I've never done, but needs to happen. "Anonymous" finally said something useful. (I'm still trying to figure out who you are, by the way...At least now I know you're a girl. At least I hope you're a girl, or you've missed the whole point of this blog.) 


My PRErebuttal (my turf, my rules) is that sometimes normal girls like to play "hard to get" to see if a guy is actually interested. But then she only becomes seriously interested after the guy looses interest. BUT he typically looses interest after he gets the girl, for the aforementioned reasons in my letter. That is a catch 44 (double catch 22). I HAVE dated "normal girls" who also play hard to get. The "fairytale," for me, thus far, hasn't been in the damsel in distress...just the happily ever after.


Here's the comment:


Dear Boys that Think We are Playing Too Hard to Get, 


We really just aren't interested.


And we dont have to go through some elaborate scheme to try and attract you. Truth is we are just more attractive to you because we don't want you (and ALL of us are guilty for wanting what we can't have).


If you ask us out and we are interested we are going to say yes. It's simple. Some girls are psychologically insane and do the opposite, but hey, that's not the type of person you want anyways (the type with self destructive tendencies). 


"Hard to Get" is not real. It's a made up fairy tale so you can believe that you're somewhat attractive and put yourself in the offense. We're not interested. Sorry. Someone else will be.


Move on.


Truthfully,
Normal girls 

15 Winter Dating Ideas - GUEST POST by Chris Hupp

My name is Chris Hupp and I am part of a dying breed of gentleman. A  breed that continues to open the door and pull out the chair for a lady.  I enjoy being spontaneous and creative on a date, and like Zack I'm  fighting the battle against tools.

The debate still continues for guys everywhere of which side of the fence they will find themselves. As for me, my mother raised me on this thought: "A girl should be able to get from point A to point B without touching a thing."

Sadly enough more and more guys aren't keeping to this standard, which makes it difficult for everyone for two simple reasons:

1. Girls expect less from the standard guy so it seems like the guy who  does practice this, is "nice" and trying too hard. In all reality he's  doing what he is supposed to do.

2. Guys see that being cheap, hanging out, and not being thoughtful or  creative works better in getting the girl so they continue to do it.

As much as I enjoy debating this topic, this wasn't my intention for this post. It is, however, to supplement the dying creativity our  generation faces in dating in general but especially during the winter. I have created a list of 15 winter dating ideas that are fun and easy:
Outdoor:

• Snow man, snow ball fight, snow forts, and snow angels
• Ice blocking - but be careful, I have know this date to be dangerous at times.
• Snow shoeing - a little less risky than ice blocking, but really fun with the right girl. Again this is not for every girl!
• Sledding - have hot chocolate or something warm after. The girl no matter how fun she was having will not enjoy it as much if she is wet and cold.
• Decorate a house or apartment together with stuff you found at the DI or Walmart

Indoor/Outdoor:

• Caroling (to family, friends, strangers, or nursing home which in most cases fits strangers :)
• 12 days of Christmas - extend-a-date usually for someone a little more serious but not a necessity.
• Go see the lights - Either at temple square or go for a drive through neighborhoods that seem to be more festive.

Indoor:

• Make ornaments - Snowmen (or women), Christmas trees, Santa Clause, etc
• Decorate sugar cookies or gingerbread men (again or women...)
• Origami - Go to the nearest bookstore and bring paper!
• Paper snow flakes
• PJs Christmas story reading and hot chocolate - personal favorites of mine have been "Polar Express" and "Twas the Night Before Christmas."
• Make dinner - this is a classic date, but more entertaining then just watching a movie or going out to dinner.
• Make a blanket fort and have an indoor picnic or movie. (Your dinner and a movie date with a twist)

These are just a few fun and creative dates that will make your life a little easier this winter! Feel free to use any of them or adapt them to fit your needs. For more date ideas visit: ChrissNormalLife.blogspot.com.

A Letter to All Girls that Play Too Hard to Get

Dear All Girls that Play Too Hard to Get,

Hi. I've been meaning to write this for a while, but wasn't quite sure what to say. I mean, how often do you write a letter to most women on behalf of most guys? 

So let me start by saying, wow! Really, you are awesome and beautiful and fun and smart! You really are! You are quite the catch.

Let me continue by saying, ya know what...? We are too. 

Let me ramble a bit by saying, we know you want some caveman Krull the Warrior King to go out of his cave hunt you down and bring you back victorious, but what you may be forgetting is that we too are looking (but with worse ADD). We too have other things going on and if you play too hard to get, we will loose interest because some other shiny object will come along. (Let's face it, how long do you see a dog chase one car for?) 

Or worse than losing interest...we will catch you. 

And then, in the clutches of our semi-appropriate spooning position with some romantic comedy playing in the background it will hit us--in all of the chasing, you gave us far too long too romanticize about who you are. Since we never got a chance to open up and have you do the same, we are in love with our perfectly perceived projection (+3) of you...not really you. And while you might be bethrown with your Bennybooboopedoo, we, on the other hand, realize that you ARE our cucumber sandwich and we just want poker night. 

It is at this moment we start to realize how badly you treated us while we were pursuing. And in the end, somewhere between the credits and the home DVD screen, the decision is made that while we will continue to play your game, this victory will not be carried back to the cave. 

So take this advice: if you like us, play nice; if you don't, no dice. Play coy, play intrigue play genuine...but don't play TOO hard.

For yeah, you are a catch; but there are a lot of fish in the sea. And sometimes, when we play your game, it turns into our game of catch and release.

Sincerely,

The Guys You Wish You Would Have Been With 10 Years from Now

p.s. Guys, I'm sure girls would say the same about us...I've just never gotten that far to know.

p.p.s. I know "bethrown" is not a word. But it seemed right at the time. Get over it.

p.p.p.s. YES, you do multiply the p's and NOT the s's when doing ps's. It is not a 'post script script!'