"I'm Not Shallow....You're Ugly"

I was hiking the grand canyon in 2004 and had an opportunity to go off the beaten trail to Havasupai. It was 4 miles off the course we were on and I was already hot and tired. I didn't want to go. I had seen waterfalls and knew it wouldn't be worth the time. A friend encourage me to go anyways, and I remember standing in front of that sign with a fork in the trail wondering which way to go. Havasupai or getting to camp early?

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Those who know me, know me well. 

It is no secret that I can be pretty shallow, but I've been thinking lately about why it is so easy to be shallow. 

I know that the personality is the premier paradigm of paradise on earth (+4); yet I find myself not dating girls because I don't feel that immediate physical attraction. 

Then, with the help of some friends I realized why. 

Projection. 

It is that simple. I project. You project too. 

Imagine with me fellas...you walk into a party and see a beautiful girl. Within seconds, you see her as nice, sweet, caring, strong and compassionate. But whoah--you never even talked with her! 

And ladies...a guy is chivalrous, thoughtful, considerate and talented--but you call him a "creeper" because he isn't good looking. Even though the only real interaction you've personally had with him was that one time he brought you cookies (that were pretty good, at that).

You projected. 

We make attractive people better and unattractive people worse by imagining who they are because that is what we WANT them to be. We don't give ourselves a chance to get to know them because, quite frankly, we don't want to get to know them. I mean who doesn't want to be with an attractive person and who wants to be with an unattractive person?

Maybe the process of maturation with attraction is the ability to understand that in 5 years when one kid is sick and the wife has diarrhea and you just lost a big client...what will matter then? the hourglass figure? the perfect complexion? the great legs? or the deep and abiding testimony? the resilient attitude? the positive outlook?

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I took the road less traveled by that day and went to Havasupai. What I found was one of the most beautiful sites in the entire world. The memory can still bring tears to my eyes when I think about the crystal reflecting pool, small cavern behind the waterfall and the dancing sunlight illuminating a nest of newborn birds. It really did make all the difference.

So thank you to my friends who encourage me to take the time to veer back on course, which often times for me, seems to be off the beaten trail.