As many of you know, I was NOT chosen to be the next Mormon Bachelor. While sad, I was super happy with Kent Tuttle as the choice and was even happier to still be involved with the show.
Part of what I do with the show is chat with Kent (and yeah, he is as nice as he looks, ladies).
Here's the thing about Kent--he is like a better looking, taller, more athletic and more endearing version of me. We have even doubled before and I remember at one point looking at my date thinking, 'I know, you wish you were with Kent.' But seriously, we do have similar tastes in a lot of things--including women.
Tonight we were talking about WHY we applied for the Mormon Bachelor, something hit us both.
He expressed exactly why I applied as well. He just said it like it is, "I wasted so much time at BYU dating a pretty face hoping that one day she will come out of her shell, but they never do." (follow him @CarkKent21)
BOOM! Nailed it. (no tacky pins needed (+2 points for non-alliterative pun))
To me that resonated like Pinterest does with bored housewives in the midwest (...too much. (How about a little less pinning of pretty shoes you wish you wore at the wedding you wish you had to a man you wish you married, and a little more parenting?) too soon? too soon. sorry. I retract that statement. Not enough to delete it from this post, but enough to say that I retract it. Take it for what it is. Okay...where was I?).
Really though. What Kent and I have always looked for is confident, spontaneous, fun, effervescent, ambitious, tenacious, bodacious (...?) girls. And with a show like this, those are the only kinds of girls that apply (or that Erin, the EP will let go through)! We've tried to date that cute quiet girl in the back of the class, and you know what? While there is the perfect guy for her, I don't think we're it.
So to all you haters who say that we should have never applied in the first place because we are just taking some stab at a glorified ego trip...I'm pretty sure which slice of this pie you would fit in.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/how-to-get-the-girl-based-on-successful-attempts-cci
ReplyDeleteI love this. I for one am glad you're involved with this show. It needs some humor like this. This is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI have to ask then, why do so many men fail to realize this profound idea you eloquently elucidate? There are plenty a cute girl in Provo (choice paradox anyone?!) but it seems that so many guys are more conditioned than Pavlov's dog to respond to the same shallow personalities (paired with admittedly attractive faces), never breaking out of that pattern, despite the fact that they also never find happiness or success in their relationships. I don't mean to rag on what you refer to as "cute quiet girls," because I really do believe that there is someone for everyone... I just know a lot of men that should set their standards slightly higher and not be these girls' someone.
ReplyDeleteI should also clarify that I don't write this as an ugly, bitter girl who sits at home alone on Friday nights... I have plenty of opportunities to date, but I like you, have not yet found that special someone. I guess I write this then, with the hope that some of these fantastic Kent-like supermen will look a little harder for these amazing (read: "confident, spontaneous, fun, effervescent, ambitious, tenacious, bodacious"... and I would add attractive!) women I seem to know, many of whom are also RMs (talk about good parenting). They (we?) exist! These girls are just the fruit that sits a little higher on the tree. Grab your ladders boys!
Amen to that!!!!
Deletenailed it with the pavlov's dog comment. so many guys in provo date the impressive looking, shallow girls, and wonder why they aren't finding a fulfilling relationship. well, there's the problem, they've got blinders on to the vast majority of the population! it's certainly not a lack of awesome girls. i know the importance of physical attraction as well as the next person, but a girl doesn't have to have look like gisele for a guy to have chemistry with her.
DeleteGisele isn't eve good looking... she looks like a man!
DeleteI agree to this but it's a little one sided. I do see guys unrealistically looking for guys outside their league, and I also see girls doing the same thing. Also berating guys does not help or make you look more attractive. How about both genders do things for yourself that will make you more attractive such as going to the gym, don't finish you bachelors above age 25, be a friendly person in general.
DeleteI cringe a little when a guy who does not/ hasn't been to college when I'm working on my masters and am attractive and thin. I know that sounds shallow, but do you want to be someone else's dream girl if they can't be your equal.
I just don't think berating guys is really the right tactic anymore.
Men and women in general have a typical personality for their gender. Men are visual 99.9999999% of the time.... so if you're an awesome girl and you don't do anything to attract their attention visually... they won't see you in their dateable radar. It's a sad fact of life, because some of the most awesome girls just hate being a part of the meat market... but as John Bytheway says in his "What I wish I'd Known When I Was Single", "don't like going to parties/dances because they're meat markets? Well that's too bad, that's where the meat is..." It's one thing to be mad at guy when you're not making yourself an apple they can reach, and it's another to be awesome, and out there and have bad dates... The dating game is called a game because it is one. And we all hate games, but we all play them. It's the awful truth.
DeleteHonestly I couldn't agree more with you. Especially with the negative comments people post on the mormon bachelor facebook wall. We are all humans here just trying to find love. Get off of Facebook and/or pinterest, go take care of your family, and let the single folk find someone. Everyone deserves a chance. Even if it is your second/third/fiftieth time. It takes guts to apply, so I hope you and kent find your perfect girls.
ReplyDeleteI think the "Mormon Bachelor" is a bad idea. It goes against human nature that a guy NEEDS and WANTS to "win" a girl....It now is a bunch of girls competing over one guy. So, to the guy who wrote this blog, Stop blogging about what kind of girl you need to date, and go ask an actual girl on a REAL date....perhaps even that shy quiet, amazing girl sitting in the corner. Sure, we're all looking for a "fun, outgoing, spontaneous person," but GET REAL and realize that "REAL" life isn't super fun, awesome, spontaneous, and amazing. Just wait till you have 2 or 3 kids and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or better yet, live in a city where it's not over populated with Mormons and you might appreciate that ONE girl in your ward who is actually pretty cute and good member of the church. I wouldn't talk down on the girl who "won't apply"...she's got too much self respect that she doesn't need to "audition herself" to date some guy.
DeleteGuys should be the pursing the girls. Period. Man up, and bring back the "Mormon Bachelorette." The Mormon Bachelor IS a big ego trip for these guys, just like a big "hang out" party in Utah or a sacrament meeting in the 90210 ward. Man, I just realized how happy I am I moved out of Utah ;)
I liked the format before this season because it was more of meeting a lot of people, which is what everyone needs.
DeleteNow it's turned into the abc show the bachelor which obviously does not work. Just look at that baffoon last season who wasn't even cute and choose the hottest and most sexually appealing girl.
If you don't like it then don't watch it. The ABC bachelor hardly works because they go on unrealistic dates and are drunk by 9am. So stop being negative! Let people be happy.
DeleteHey--those girls still exist! My friends and I are just as bodacious and crazy as they come.
ReplyDeleteGood for you two!! Also, I'd like to say to the first anon writer that sometimes we need to cut these guys a break. I know that I'm not a shallow person but I HAVE to be attracted to the person I am dating. He may have the most special spirit ever... But that doesn't matter when I am not attracted at all. With that said, it's an intimidating world of dating for both males and females. I'm as non traditional as they come, but the older I get, the more I wouldn't mind going back to the "old" ways of dating. They had huge success rates back in the day.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the first anon post as well, but here's where I differ from Ruby's: date people you wouldn't normally date as far as appearance goes. Now I'm not saying go out and find someone who is completely repulsive to you, just someone who is different than your "type". When I first started dating my boyfriend I honestly wasn't very attracted to him, but guess what! WE FELL IN LOVE! And as love deepens, your attraction for that person grows and grows. Maybe that's not always the case, but it really is worth a shot.
ReplyDeleteGood luck finding effervescent and tenacious in one package. She may be out there, but she's as rare as you (and I guess Kent).
ReplyDeletei'm replying to my own comment here to say i think it's inspiring that you hold out hope and you work for the best, and any nagging you get (from yourself, parents, friends) as to when you're going to "find the one" should be answered with an acknowledgement that you are a rare find looking for a rare find. that's takes a lot of digging!
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI didn't catch your name. We like Kent, he is a relative (second cousins I think). That said, how old are you? Since our cousins are the Hot tall ones, and you are friends with Kent, that makes you not a relative, most likely. The Tuttles are a good family. If you like 5'8" blondes and are a gentleman, you should check out Julie or Kara Luke on facebook. They are awesome girls, both graduated from college with Bachelors. Great girls, but not the poodle princess that abound at BYU.
If you are looking for an honest to goodness REAL girl, not to high maintenance, whose family history is full of pioneers. You may be onto something.
Rae A Reed
Did I mention they are beautiful, but in a natural way. Not plastic fantastic.. Just real northern European good looks.
DeleteRight. Because the only quality Mormons are the ones who have pioneer heritage. What would be the point of missionary work then?
Delete...everyone thinks like you and no one wants the shy girl in the back of the room ;) So, I beg to differ on the someone for everyone, even the shy guys want the perfectly perfect, outgoing female who'll 'wow' the masses.... so, though not really offended and I remember you as a super nice guy... think about it.... is being shy really a personality trait? Most actors are all of those things and high percentage are shy in many settings... so, yeah effort!.... and less judging and maybe people will find out who will make them happy and be a successful eternal companion that won't end in divorce??
ReplyDeleteI once went on a few dates with a guy who said he didn't like girls that were funny. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT? Also, he never laughed at anything I said. I flirt by being funny. If the guy laughs, 10 points for me! It was sad because he was seriously hotstuff. Perhaps he's a perfect fit for the shy girls you mentioned. I on the other hand like attention and laughs. Eternity is a long time to go without laughing. What a weirdo.
ReplyDeleteI am a little put off by someone's earlier comment who said it was unattractive to finish your bachelor's above the age of 25...WHAT THE HELL!? I am 27 and 2 years away from finishing my bachelors. Not all people who wait to finish college are deadbeats who wasted their twenties. I started college the year I graduated from High School and the reason I'm still going to school is because I keep taking time off to do some amazing things. You know things like Live in India for a year working with leprosy colonies and teaching English to children. Or Live in Germany or how about Living in London to study Shakespearean performance and Modern Theater. How about working for a Prestigious Film company for a year as an executive assistant to put on a film festival? How about directing and acting in some amazing plays? Traveling the world and the United States? And I have found I am a much better student in my late twenties than I ever was when I finished High School. The things I've learned in experiences I've gained while I wasn't at school help me in my schooling and in my career. And a lot of the guys I've dated love that about me and don't care that I'm not out of school.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked that you would consider that unattractive at all. What's YOUR problem?
Because there comes a time in your life when you need to focus on something and finish something and be able to support yourself. Just my opinion sorry you are so self righteous and insecure that you need to try to prove that you are so great. Iit just work for me not to be chronically poor. Calm down woman, and even if you say that it doesn't not attract guys, you are still single.
Deletethese comments are bonkers!!!
DeleteThis post makes me laugh. Mostly because I am clueless about Mormon Bachelor and probably couldn't care less about it. I think the entire dating scene, rules, guidelines, what have you, are all mostly pretty screwed up, but I say that having navigated them quite well and happily am dating someone, so perhaps I'm not the most objective individual.
ReplyDeleteThat said, what's with the rag on Pinterest? Do you actually use Pinterest? Sure, I know many a person who wastes time on there (as well as many other places), but I can only credit Pinterest as the single most significant factor in my increased cooking and craftiness over the last year. Definitely a positive impact on my life in a clear and tangible way.
Use Pinterest...but it is mainly for future things i'll never actually want in my house and funny pictures slightly too inappropriately funny to repin.
DeleteThat's fair...thus your rant. I guess that makes it little more useful to you than a website like Reddit (not that I'm complaining about Reddit, but it, like many of the micro blogging websites, is equally as useless - in my opinion - if that is all you use it for). I'm certainly biased. I guess I think of Pinterest as idea storage for things that I realistically want to make and do, and things that make me laugh, but in a lesser way. But then, I don't makes lists of things I want in my house... ;)
DeleteInteresting perspective... Shallow/Vulnerable moment:
ReplyDeleteA) I know I'm awesome! Goofy, intelligent, open, sincere... "confident, spontaneous, fun, effervescent, ambitious, tenacious, bodacious"
B) I'm really attracted to crazy dudes like you who also happen to be crazy intelligent/funny/romantic but
C) I'm afraid I'm not pretty enough to captivate the attention of gorgeous men... Sounds like this contradict the "confident" thought but I don't think it does. I'm confident at job interviews, in front of large crowds, when talking with strangers or famous people, when trying to resolve conflicts with people, during school presentations. I'm sometimes arrogantly forward with successful busy people when I want to collaborate with them on a project. I give Free Hugs and will talk to anyone honestly about my struggles if they want to know how I got through crap. Confident when admired, confident when under a magnifying glass.
It's just when I am sexually attracted to a dude who I recognize is highly desired that my confidence takes a hit. And I don't think that's unusual. No one is confident 100% of the time. Except jerks.
Anyone else have this experience?