WaitingByNotWaiting wrote in a comment,
I have a dating question that has been on my mind quite a bit lately, and I wouldn't be surprised if other girls feel the same way. How do you attract a guy when you are not his normal type? I'm not talking about a situation where a guy tells a girl she isn't his type to try to "let her down easy." I'm talking about looking around and noticing the types of girls this guy likes and seeing that you just aren't like those girls. Obviously, you ideally want to date someone who likes you for you, but isn't there a way to...well... change a guy's perspective? Have there been any girls who made you date outside your type? What was it about them that made you change your mind?Great question!
First of all, I don't know. I'm single.
Second (of rest), let me pretend I know and answer.
There have been times in my life where the girl I ended up liking was not my type. And truthfully, while "small bubbly blonds" are what my friends would call my "type," I have ventured outside of the lower atmosphere of 5 foot and a few darker than blond. Only once have I ventured outside of bubbly, though. Here is how things happened on this occasion:
She was cute, but not my type. She was taller, dark hair and really really super calm and chill. I always thought of us as just friends. We hung out in a group together and I would tell the group about my dates she would occasionally give advice. That was about our relationship.Then one day the group all left and it was just her and I. Usually, even with great friends, if you are one on one with a member of the group for the first time, it can be awkward.
But surprisingly, it was just fun. She asked about me and then opened up when I asked about her and for the first time, I saw a sparkle in her eye that I didn't notice before.
|See what we did here?|
I finally asked her, 'Why have we never gone on a date?'
She said, 'Because I don't want to be one of those 'Zack Oates girls.'
While I probably should have at least felt the dig a little...but being the optimist I just didn't hear a 'no'!
I said, 'What if I promise to only take you on dates that I have never been with anyone else?' She agreed and out we went. We actually became official too. And while our tragic demise were stereotypical of the common denominator in all my relationships (the other person...*cough*cough...[awkward laugh]), I still call/google hangout/dinner with her on occasions and consider her one my my heart's biggest mistakes.
Since then, I have since used a similar process with quite high levels of success.
- Step 1: Don't be a horrible person. (Do not proceed to Step 2 unless you undouchebagify yourself.)
- Step 2: Find times to spend in groups with your target.
- Step 3: Show them you are AWESOME without paying extra attention to them or trying too hard.
- Step 4: Get them alone. (CAVEAT: do not be creepy about this.)
- Step 5: Show genuine interest in them and then proceed to mention something that the two of you should do together, like try a new restaurant, play some game or make out. (If you use the 'make out' one, be sure you make back of elbow contact and laugh as a joke...but you know and they know that all jokes are rooted in repressed frustrations on perceived reality)
So even if or especially if you are not their type, it isn't lost, you just need to work a little bit more to win them over. To have a shot, you must first get in their sights, then, just stay still enough for cupid's arrow to hit the target. And if this process doesn't work, there are only three reasons: 1) you aren't being blunt enough; 2) you really just aren't their type and should be offended; 3) you went to step 2 too soon.
Remember, if all else fails, write a blog post about how they were the one that got away and then tell that post was written about them. Works like a charm. #stillSTINGle. #seefirstofall