The 3 Point Rule - and my first ever video!

So this is how it breaks down to know when to STOP trying to get with a girl.

• 1/2 point: Facebook post/message, @tweet/DM, etc. (you know...the stuff that can get lost very easily)
• 1 point: call, voicemail, text or email
• 2 points: call&voicemail or drop by
• 3 points: dropping something off for them

When you do those things to the girl, she gets the points. When she does them back, they are subtracted. 

The goal is to stay at 0. 

When she gets to 3 points....give up. 

RARELY do you meet a 4-point girl, but they do exist. 

Keep your dignity. Keep score....UNTIL, you have kissed two consecutive times, then there is no scoring...or I guess then there is scoring. ;)

And special thanks to Emily and Devin for filming this. Subscribe to their dating YouTube channel!

5 Remedies for Dating when you have CDO

What is CDO, you ask?

Well, it's like OCD--except the letters are in alphabetical order. (Full disclosure: that isn't my joke. but I thought it was funny....hey! Don't judge! I bet you I've heard a joke of yours that I KNEW wasn't yours and still didn't say anything...)

Now, if you are the kind of guy that has straightened picture frames in an Arby's before, you probably have a little bit of obsessive compulsive disorder. So what is the problem with this?

In business, in friendships, in family life, in chore duties, in personal hygiene, in problem solving...this is a blessing. You pay attention to details and ascribe meaning to them that will allow you to make split second (see Craig, I don't give myself points for EVERY alliteration) decisions with lengthy reasoning because subconsciously, you've already thought it all through.

BUT, if you are pursuing a girl...oy vey! 

Here is the issue: you think about the potential relationship over and over and over and try to figure out what to say and how to say it and when to call and what to text. Then, when you see the other person, you have been thinking about your communications, that you seem a bit odd and what you do say comes out more robotic than anything. 

So here are a 5 remedies I've discovered that are my proverbial Zolofts (FDA approved for fixing OC....ugh...CDO.):

1. Like other people. Have a few people that you are semi-interested in.
2. Before calling them, do an act of service. By the end, hopefully, you've forgotten.
3. Only text them out of the blue one in five times you think about texting them.
4. Set a limit on how many times you can talk to friends about them in a day. I try to make that 1 or 2.
5. Only look at their Facebook pictures once a week. EVEN IF a pic of her and another guy comes up in your newsfeed with some guy that is BLATANTLY less cool than you.

Remember, when you seem so weird around your love interest and act drastically differently around them than you do around their roommates, they begin to feel that you either don't like them, or like them too much. And even if they do like you, they probably don't feel the same way about you as you do about them, yet. You've been thinking about them 20 times a day--while maybe you were one passing thought to them. Be normal, as much as you have to fight it, until you give them a CHANCE to like you. Because honestly, deep down, you probably aren't in need of medication, but just understanding. It's not just about the art, but the framing as well.

So give them a good picture of you...but just make sure the frame isn't crooked.

WORST DATE EVER--Guest Post by Katilda.com

Okay so I found this blog the other day (thanks to Naomi M for that!) and turns out, I met her on a date in AZ...when I picked up her roommate (thanks to Meg W for that!). We decided to do a "worst date" blog post trade. Check out her blog and check out this post. She is funny. Katie Elizabeth Hawkes blogs at Katilda.com where you can read my worst date ever.


THE POST:
I'll be the first to admit that my dating shenanigans don't hold a candle to some of the epic monstrosities I've heard within my own friend circle. But regardless, mine was still a ridiculous evening for a naive little grasshopper to experience at the tender age of 19.

Confession: I don't even remember this guy's name, so we're going to call him Samsonite. Sammy. And now on with the story...

Prologue: This date occurred after my roommate informed me that her buddy Samsonite was hankering for a set-up. Trying to be a good sport, I didn't ask many questions, said yes, and thus it all began.

Scene 1: Browsing Our Phones
Samsonite retrieved me from my little basement apartment and whisked me off to an evening of (not so much) magic and (mostly a lot of) mayhem. We'd driven about 1.3333 blocks when he pulled the car over and said, "My buddy wants to come on this date but he can't find a girl. Can you look through your phone and see if you can think of anyone?" I was hesitant to throw an unsuspecting friend into the mix, seeing as how "do you want to go on a date right this minute with a friend of a stranger because he couldn't find one girl in this entire city to go out with him" isn't exactly a great selling point. In any case, we didn't find a date for Samsonite's buddy....who, by the way, we will name Frank, because no, that's not the last we'll be hearing of him.

Scene 2: Defying Death & Stuff
Another block or so up the road, Samsonite said, "Hey i have a fun idea -- you drive my car!" Before I had a chance to protest or recite any lyrics from a Safety Kids song, my "fun-loving" date had closed his eyes and lifted his hands off the steering wheel. Grabbing the steering wheel seemed like the only sensible thing to do at this point, as did screaming at him to open his eyes. I'm pretty sure he just laughed and said it was a joke. Then I recited the entire etymology of the word "joke" to him. Kidding. But I should have.

Scene 3: Hands Off
Because neither of us was hungry (it was good to agree on something), we headed to the nearest movie theatre for some fine cinema. And by "fine cinema" I mean a movie titled "Flushed Away" that featured cartoon rats. As the opening credits rolled, I noticed Sammers was leaning awfully close to me. I employed every "don't touch me" body language maneuver I had in my arsenal and made sure to thwart his advances. That was, until halfway through the movie when I let my guard down and unwittingly put my arm on the armrest for about 0.005 seconds. And that is how I found my hand in his eager grasp for the rest of the illustrious film.

Scene 4: A Supporting Actor
Hunger had dawned at this point so we wandered across the street to a little diner. It was about this time when Frank met up with us. Had Frank found a date? No, Frank had not found a date. Frank was coming to 3rd-wheel it. Well, Frank, I actually didn't mind your interruption at this point, if we're being completely honest. And thus I spent the next hour picking at my french fries on my side of the booth while Frank and Sammy dearest sat across from me and talked (to each other) and fiddled with their new hand-held gaming devices. In good news, I'm a sucker for french fries.

Scene 5: A Scenic Drive
I was pretty much dying to go home at this point, and probably should have said so. But remember that part about being tender and 19? I don't think my healthy dose of gumption blossomed until at least 2-3 years later. So, Frank piled in Sam's car with us and the fellas spent the next 30 minutes hemming and hawing about what we should do next. Someone (probably not me) voted on a drive up the canyon, and so off we went. I'll cut the details on the drive up the canyon, but suffice it to say, when you're crammed in the back seat (we had picked up more friends at this point) and your date has already held your hand that night, he might think it's time to put his arm around you and hold you close for the entire adventure.

Prologue: In a nutshell, my adventurous night on the town wrapped up with a half-hearted hug at the door and a roommate who owed me big time. In any case, I did love those french fries.

When to Give Up on a Relationship

Imagine with me, if you will, driving down the highway of love in your relationship car. (I wonder what your scenery looks like...mine is a desert.)

Like others journeying down the same highway, there are road bumps, pitstops and even abandoned cars on the strewing side of the road. 

Things are going smoothly...until you start to notice some issues. It starts off as a putter, then a short power failure then an all out stall. You see there is a service station a few miles down and you think it might need gas (still extended metaphor here). So you make the long hot walk there, get a can of gas and walk back. Still not starting. 'Maybe it's the battery!' You assure yourself. So you again walk to the station, get a battery and back...but still nothing. You try a new starter engine. Then a new alternator. And even a new... (h'm...i've run out of car parts I know. But you get the point.)

On one of your trips back to the car, you see a sign that you wasn't there before: "Welcome to 'The End Of Your Dignity' Pop: 1."

It is there, with the car barely visible through the heat waves of your romanticization, that you realize, that although it is a tough decision because you put so much time and energy into the car and tried so hard to fix it...there is a car that will take you where you need to go--and it isn't that one.

So when do you give up on a relationship? There is a clear line when love meets self dignity; and it is there, my friends, you must make your stand. For at that point, it isn't true love. 

A wise man Jeffrey R. Holland said, "In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor. Life is tough enough without having the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person's care you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure." (read the whole speech here, called "'How Do I Love Thee'"). 

Love is inspiring, uplifting, encouraging and enlightening. Food tastes better, ambitions race higher and reality is enlarged. And while there will be road bumps and pit stops, at times, you need to fight for what you have left...but realize when nothing is. 

For there is no shame in walking, when the 'alternator'tive is not working.

Is Valentines Day Worth it?

I hope you had a day of love with enough love to last the day. Note to self...no staplers for the month of Feb.

For more hilarious comics, and to see this one live, visit xkcd.com/1016.